Goodness52

"I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto: Anyone can cook. But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant." If a food snob like Ratatouille's Anton Ego can accept the humble kitchen hacks into his fold, I figured even I might stand a chance. So, during the week of Valentine's Day, I set myself the daunting task of cooking–or baking–something every day that I had never cooked or baked before. Now I'm not one of those guys who avoids the kitchen and leaves all the work to his spouse. It's just that, after 24 years of marriage, we've fallen into comfortable patterns. All things barbecuing are my domain. I'm generally the salad guy, occasionally a waffle-making dad, a frequent pizza topper and even an enthusiastic turkey carver. But most main courses are left to Val. And we rarely venture into the new or different. I imagine most families are like this; you get some safe favourites and repeat endlessly ov...

"After reading about the evils of drinking, I decided to give up reading." Henny Youngman was more than just the king of the one-liners; he was also keenly aware that abstinence does not make the heart grow fonder. For me, the idea of giving up my nightly tipple was absolutely loathsome, so naturally it became a must-do in my 52-week odyssey. I figured it would come sooner or later, so better to rip the bandaid off in Week 5 and get it over with. Naturally, I looked ahead in my schedule to see if there might be any "mandatory drinking" occasions. Other than a few work lunches and a weekend dinner party (which was thankfully snowed out) it looked clear. When I get home from work, the ritual goes pretty much the same. Seconds after my shoes are off, the bottle is losing its cork or cap or lid and the evening is under way. I'm not really a discerning drinker; I just like it all. A random sampling of my cabinet might reveal any spirit—gin, vodka, rum, bourbon,...

"A strange game. The only winning move is NOT to play. How about a nice game of chess?" When the WOPR computer spoke to Matthew Broderick's character in War Games, the "game" it was referring to was global thermonuclear war. Agreed, that game is unwinnable. But chess, hey, any fool can learn that one, right? It's what I've tricked myself into believing over the years, to the point of obsession. I play chess on my iPhone. I play chess on my desktop. I play chess when the last thing I should be doing is playing chess, against strangers from all over the world. When I lose a game, I immediately fire off a challenge to the next player, and on it goes. Now, this is from an admitted non-gamer. I tell myself that I'm not that guy in his basement with a PlayStation controller in his hand, sinking deeper and deeper into an overstuffed sofa. Then there's my other gaming diversion, a website called Sporcle, which bills itself as the world's large...

"I've no more f**ks to give, my f**ks have run adry. I've tried to go f**k shopping but there's no f**ks left to buy." Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq. performing on YouTube Oh, Thomas Wild , you are a cheeky you-know-what. I was listening to this minor YouTube sensation last week when the thought struck me that I have a very casual and permissive attitude toward foul language. I think that's what Thomas is subtly getting at in his irreverent little ditty, which is entertaining mostly because he's performing his banjo number in a three-piece suit while letting out a string of f-bombs. I might as well be that guy. I sometimes revel in seeing the raised eyebrows and aghast expressions when I drop a major cuss into a conversation. It's probably because people just aren't expecting it from me. So, why do I even do it? And what would a week be like if I just parked my potty mouth for seven straight days? I was about to find out! On the home front, V...

“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” Yes, Sir Paul McCartney, you're probably right on that score. Thing is, I'm pretty insulated from the meat industry along with a few billion others. I don't see the stuff before it gets into my burger. Still, I've always wanted to try going without meat, just for a giggle and to see what it would be like. My 7-day resolution plan is the perfect answer, and maybe I'll discover some inner truth about myself while swearing off my four-legged friends as dinner sources for a week. Portobello mushrooms, pretty much the meat of the fungus family But first, to recap Week Number One–running every day for a week. I have to rate it as a complete success. After putting in a solid 10k on the first day, committing to half that distance every day was easier than I thought. Part of the fun was planning a slightly different route for each run, using Google maps to trace a minimum of 5 kilometres every...

"Anyone can take a reservation. It's the holding of the reservation that's important!" Jerry Seinfeld's words to the car rental agent hit me mid-way through a 10 kilometre run on the first week of January. My mind had been drifting off as I thought about New Year's resolutions and how notoriously stupid they are. "This year, I quit smoking!" "I'm gonna lose 50 pounds!" So dumb. Still, I like the basic thought of making a commitment, as long as you can stick to it. It struck me that the tough part about resolutions isn't the making of them. It's the keeping of them. Let's face it, we just don't. Fact is, 80 percent of New Year's resolutions are broken by February. Shoreline in Victoria BC, Canada So there I was, doing what so many others on that achingly beautiful day were doing along Victoria's sun-drenched shores. Trying to make myself a better person. Then and there, I could have committed to some...